No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
