i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
