The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
