Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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