8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
