We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
