8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
