$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
