I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
