Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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