the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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