I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize