You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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