hotel room ftw
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
