Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
