booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
