Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Randomize
