He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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