i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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