Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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