gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize