Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
and you said cock pushups were impossible
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
