did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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