Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
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