the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
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