You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
