Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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