I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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