he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
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