i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
