I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
