found the other keg... it's in the tree
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
