we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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