How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
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