I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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