We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
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