i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
