I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Randomize
