Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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