U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize
