Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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