He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
