never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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