Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Randomize
