Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
