wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
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