____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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