I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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