i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize