Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize