You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
