Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
