Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
