Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
