I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Randomize
