just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
