My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
