You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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