wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Randomize
