that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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