i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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