its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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