I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
