Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
