rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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