Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
