I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
