her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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