Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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