I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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